Death Had To Flee

From the outside looking in strenuous to understand, from the inside looking out, arduous to explain. Flaws and scarring show hurt and suffering, that was once undergone, with so much growth to be gained, so much character to be obtained but they also show her healing and desire to survive...the drive to keep fighting... to persist, to keep going, to strive. They're part of her history and testimony of his faithfulness toward me and defining moment for victory! It’s ok to not be ok. Sometimes it's okay if the only thing you did was breathe today. She fights for her health every single day in a way most people don't comprehend. She’s resilient. She’s a warrior. She’ll walk by faith. Even if she doesn’t perceive his plan. She is not weak or an unworthy soul she perceived to be true for years with the thought of dying. She’s a deeply feeling individual in a corrupted world, still a daughter of the King still persevering. Still struggling in the battlefield.. can’t get up crawl if you must even if the wounds are too great just keep moving. I must confess. It takes strength to face and feel what few other people have the courage to acknowledge, can’t understand or see. The bravest thing she ever did was sustain her life when she wanted to die to end the pain in complete defeat. She trusted him, she found the courage within. She accepted herself from the insecurity of rejection again and again after she destroyed herself with cuts from heartache and misery and endured a pain so deep what you can’t bear to hear or see suicidal tendencies ..derived character through adversity... only in the process of fixing and healing she saw who she was and what God sees in me. The broken will always be able to love harder than most for they know what it’s like to feel totally alone. She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. Her broken wings couldn’t fly, unattainable. Once you've been in the darkest places you learn to appreciate everything that shines. The healer is in the house today even tonight. He’s coming your way. It’s your time to rise up and say this is my time. Healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, You are still healing. You’ll never be the same. That unknown cave you’re afraid to go in. holds the treasure you seek. Don’t be afraid. Feelings and trials are much like waves, we can’t see when they’re coming and we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf and keep fighting the fight of faith. lnstead of being ashamed of everything you’ve been through, had to endure take joy in what you have overcome!! You’ve come this far, you have nothing to fear. Nothing to lose. She can’t undo the scars she inflicted upon herself but she can use those scars to persevere an remind herself that she survived and the promise of healing is hers. Be proud of your warrior scars and not ashamed of how someone else sees you. They can’t comprehend the price you paid to get where you are today or felt the hurt you’ve gone through. She couldn’t keep her colors inside the lines so she drew new lines to recreate a different picture...her treasurable identity seared with beautiful imperfections; scars that built you and made you perfectly competent to pull through and put the trauma and past behind you. Imagine meeting someone who wanted to learn your past, not to punish you, but to understand how you needed to be loved. Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. We ought to be solemn and heartfelt toward one another peaceful gentle like the dove. Sometimes you can’t see the pain someone feels. It’s the deepest suffering which empowers you to grow in Christ becoming authentic through pain and real. She overcame everything that tried to destroy her. Wear your tragedies as armor, not shackles.. flashbacks, body defiled memories reliving each day in terror fear. Flooding of unbearable emotions. Flooding of painful memories in which the survivor perpetrated against suicide attempts and self harm. She survived because the fire inside her burned brighter than the fire around her. And there is a loving mindful God above. Torment and suffering is like a water reservoir. It finds a way to push through any seal with no way to cease. Sometimes you have to let yourself submerge before you can learn how to swim to the surface. & find innermost peace. She is content with the warrior shes became, because she fought to become her. No turning back no longer the same. She now sees how owning her story and loving herself through that process is a reassured testament, personal attestation for everyone she encounters in her journey, that you’re not alone. And there is always hope. All you have to do is have faith. Then watch your battles turn into victories. Just like the flower in adversity we too have the ability to rise from the ground & bloom out of darkness and radiate for all the world to see.. The flower that blooms through adversity is rarest and most beautiful of all. All you have to do is believe<3 

Feb17-18/19

No one notices your tears No one notices your pain No one notices your sadness But they all notice your mistakes...The mirror is my best friend-it doesn't laugh when I cry. If you survived cutting and deep haunting scars is all you see ..from the tormenting past blade of grief & misery. Scars speak more profound & loudly than the knife that caused them in addiction to numb internal pain. They are marks of a warrior & survivor still fighting & standing by grace. --Shellz ♡