Shattered Reality

 Waking in the morning that day....the dark sky pierced into her soul seeing no light. The atmosphere changed...that day forward, her mind was even more at war demons in her head ...could not function could not pick up her sword and fight...overthrown your world was never the same. Different things in life happen and you have no say. It changes the course of your plans..it changes everything about your life crushing your faith. Having a change of heart...it changes the course it changes what you once thought causing you to carelessly backslide and break. it changes the direction.. it changes the path, this uncomfortable fate....and the only thing you can do is hold on to who you are and wait ...the only thing you can do is hold on to memories and make detours walking down a narrow road by his side into the unknown in faith.....knowing who you belong to knowing that even if plans change it’s still His even through heartbreak and he’ll always make a way...knowing that he sees you curled up on the floor in a shattered universe and you can’t even see the light or pray as something precious apart of you gets taken away....the kind of plan you have no control that’s destined to make you change. For its when you break little you come alive yet it builds character and at the same time you die..... your treacherous heart sending out a search party without your consent ...not ready to let go what you could not prevent... spiritual love still being sent from another realm in an abandoned place....reminding your heart that nobody’s home and no one ever stays.....but one day the the pain and suffering the emptiness that you currently feel ....will be a thing of the past and no longer felt no longer real. She said Jesus do you know how it feels right now in this moment. Do you know what it’s doing to me. Do you really care. It feels like I’ve been in a car accident the one I had a while ago for years...shattered glass piercing into me...it feels like I’ve been in this car  accident my entire life like I’m trapped in fear in the backseat....with my eyes closed because I’m to scared to open them to see if this is only a nightmare a dream or a shattered reality..... And God said one day they’ll be a reward for all this suffering<3 

Oct 13/20